The Buffet of Life with Jennifer Bannon

This week I was back at Farren's. This time with Honorary Gen X'er Jennifer Bannon. Honorary because she isn't quite old enough, but she grew up with older Gen X siblings and so she kind of claims it. I doubt any Gen X'ers out there care enough about it to contest the claim, so we will go with it. Welcome to the Generation that no one talks about, cares about, or even remembers (and we like it that way.)

Jennifer is the Deputy City Attorney at the City of Champaign, but there was surprisingly little law talk during our lunch. The time I was arrested and thrown in jail and actually had to have an attorney didn't even come up, so you'll have to wait for a different meal for that story. We did talk a little about work, but it was about how her department adjusted to the retirement of the last City Attorney who had been doing the job for something like 45 years. Everyone was wondering how things would change after losing someone who had so much institutional knowledge. Apparently, things are different, but they moved on with few problems and things are running relatively smoothly. That's pretty good.

I always love to hear people's origin stories. You know, the events in their life that helped make them the way they are now. We didn't go back too far in her life, but it was great to hear about the choice that was posed to her when she was heading off to college. She had just seen the University of Chicago; beautiful, prestigious, amazing, and expensive enough that she would have graduated with a lot of debt. Jennifer's parents offered a different choice of going to the cheaper but still great University of Illinois but then spending breaks at study abroad locations throughout the world.

She chose the world -- which I applaud. I've done a little bit of traveling, but Jennifer's adventures go well beyond what I have done. She was in Egypt, Brazil, Prague, and Ecuador. I shared my Middle East experience, and she asked if I knew any Arabic. I told her I just new a few basic words, but I didn't realize until got some dinner later that I forgot one phrase I know, that is Ramadan Kareem! I used that one when I went to Niro's Gyros because I realized it is the first day of Ramadan. So, to all those observing, Ramadan Kareem to you.

Another part of the world that made a big difference in Jennifer's life was her time spent on the US/Mexico border. Sounds like she spent some time there doing humanitarian work for a while and then went back to do some legal assistance when she was in law school. What a unique life experience. The stories were so harrowing and sad, but at the same time, heroic and triumphant. The things that people have to do in search of a better and safer life for themselves and their families is inspiring. She still does some work for Immigrant Services of Champaign-Urbana (isc-u.org). A great local resource that helps immigrant families who come to our area. There are so many organizations that make us a Welcoming Community, and I am glad that Jennifer is able to use her skills to help. She jokes that she doesn't have a lot of useful skills, but the help and advice that she can provide for people is invaluable.

So, once we finished with the job interview portion of the meal, we talked quite a bit about family. Jennifer has a couple of kids around the same age as my kid. It was interesting to hear about how different and special in their own way her kids are. One is laid back, happy go lucky with an optimistic outlook for the future, and the other is more focused and academically driven. Two different approaches to life, but equally able to bring about happiness in the long term. I love that Jennifer is encouraging and accepting of them each as they are. There is a good lesson in there somewhere.

The world is kind of crazy out there right now, and I was always one to try to shield my kid from it for as long as possible. Sounds like Jennifer's approach was to bring things up slowly and more generally at an early age and then being more open about the way things really are as they got older. This has led to some great conversations and it was interesting to hear about how each of her children go about viewing the world. I think there is hope for us yet if there are more kids like that out there.

I know I talked about making these things shorter, but gosh darn it, I am not going to do it. This one is already long, and I am going to keep going. Part of doing these meals is getting to know people a little more in depth that just the casual greetings and how's the weather small talk that most of us use daily. We seldom go deeper. We have become isolated. We talked about how communities used to be more than just the nuclear parents and kids that we stick to nowadays. There used to be more collaboration, more help between generations, non-relatives who would help each other and share the burdens of living and raising kids amongst the group and not just have to try to take on everything by ourselves. I find it odd that people talk about traditional values, but somehow seem to have forgotten the tradition of the community. There is a missing love and caring out there that is more than just living in an isolated house with your spouse and kids. We need to get better at connecting with each other.

One thing that helps you get to know someone deeper, is knowing what makes them cry. Today I learned that Jennifer and I both have a weakness for sentimental moments in movies and TV shows. She loves the Big Moments when someone makes a choice and succeeds. The big moments that change people's lives. She recommended this moment from Schitt's Creek as an example (youtu.be/furiseh7Yaw). Even though it isn't a show that I know much about, just watching that four and a half minute scene brought me to tears. Granted that isn't that hard to do, but I wind up bawling whenever I see something like this. American Idol is the worst for me. They are the masters of hooking me into a great story about someone and caring about them doing well. By the time they are turning in a great performance at the end, I am just a wreck.

The last thing we talked about is how life is a Buffet of Choices. It came up because I mentioned that I was bisexual. If you were to write a list in order of importance of all the things that make you or someone you know great, gender would probably be way down near the bottom. I just can't see passing up on the wonderful parts of a person at the top of the list just because of something that is relatively non-important near the bottom. At least not very important to me. Apparently, it is the most important to some other folks. To each their own.

But further than just the choices about partners, we talked about the Buffet of Choices in life. How there are so many paths available to us and our children. About how experiences like traveling the world and seeing other cultures can open up even more options. They can make you into a completely different person. Maybe even just having lunch with someone and talking can make a difference. I see how these meals have made me happier, and I hope those that I have shared a table with have also come away with a little bit of happiness of their own.

Oh, and this time at Farren's I didn't forget to take photos. (doesn't Jennifer look great in the photos) And of course the burger was great as expected. Thank you so much Jennifer. It was great talking to you today. It felt like we could have talked so much longer. Maybe we will have to do it again if you are up for it.