The Other Brian: Lunch with Bryan Kieft

Tonight's meal was with tech problem solver, Bryan Kieft. He is a friend of a friend, and I didn't know much about him before tonight, but I learned a lot during our conversation and realized we have a lot more in common that our first name. But like our first names, they are the same but a little bit different.

Bryan chose Hauaraches Moroleon in Urbana, both because he likes the place and because it is close to his house. I've never been there, so was happy to try the food. I got three shredded chicken tacos and Bryan got a burrito. It was pretty good. I like that I have been trying different Mexican restaurants in town. I wonder what the best one is. Give me your recommendations in the comments if you have a favorite.

Let's start off by how I know Bryan. Actually, I don't really know Bryan. I just know him through my friend Eleanore. Bryan has acted in some of her movies and when she came to town, she had a get together with some of her Champaign friends. I did play a part in one of her films one time, but I was not a regular like some of the others that she has used before. I kind of regret that. It was always a fun time, and the costumes were always the best. I was planning on talking more about Bryan's experience working with Eleanore, but we never went into depth into that. There were so many other interesting topics that came up. I guess we will have to do another meal to cover that. Ha. Any excuse for a meal is what I say.

When I did bring up acting, Bryan said that in addition to working with Eleanore, he had also done a little bit of improv in college. An interest in Improv is one of those things we have in common. Seems like he enjoyed it and liked that it didn't take up too much time so he could still fit it in with his schoolwork. Plays and films can take up so much time with practice and performances.

In addition to the Improv, he said he gets some of that creative outlet by playing roleplaying games. Another thing we have in common. Although my roleplaying days are in the past and his are still going. We had to finish up dinner so he could get back to his weekly game tonight. I think he was playing Trinity tonight, but he also plays D&D and Wraith. When he mentioned Wraith, I thought back to my Live Action Roleplaying (LARP) days when I used to meet up to play Vampire. Apparently, we both played that around the same time here in Champaign. I don't think we ever played together, but it is another coincidence in common. I loved D&D from an early age and even played a little in college, but LARPing was a completely different experience. It was taking on a character and acting more than just rolling dice. I love the storytelling and character development that comes from roleplaying that way. I guess that was just a fun way to get in a taste of acting but not being fully committed to the field. I have said before that acting was a dream of mine, but I was always afraid to pursue it seriously. That may have been a mistake.

Another thing we have in common is our choice in majors at the University of Illinois. I started off in Physics and switched to Rhetoric (Creative Writing) and he made a similar change to Rhetoric too. I took a break in my college career, so when I went back, they didn't even have the Rhet degree, so I was one of the first to get the new Creative Writing Degree from the English Department. Mine was focuses on Poetry writing, but I haven't done much with that. I think it is interesting that when given the choice of things that they would like to do, many people choose majors in creative fields but then settle down into less creative careers.

After getting his degree, Bryan went back to Parkland to learn how to be a masseuse, which I think is amazing. I hate touching people, so it would be so weird doing a job where you have to touch people all of the time, but for Bryan it was something that he really loved doing. It has been suggested to me that learning to give massages might be a good way to overcome my touching issues. Not sure if that will work for me, but I am trying to be open to new things, so who knows. Had to ask Bryan why he didn't keep going with the massage work after his studies. He said he wasn't comfortable with the uncertainty of the job prospects of doing that for a living. Knowing what is going to happen is a very important thing for Bryan. Wanting certainty is one of his fundamental characteristics.

I told him about how I would sometimes take a vacation by just picking a directing and just driving without a destination in mind. That is not something that he would ever want to do. He likes to have a plan and to know what is going to happen. He currently works at the University and one of the things he likes most about it is the stability of knowing that his job is safe and secure. While that is not something that I absolutely need, it has also become more important to me since I had my kid. Responsibilities make steady work more attractive. At the University, he does work involving testing for remote classes. He has an interest in helping educators to use technology to help solve problems. He likes the idea of using tech to help connect and communicate with others. One of the things that can affect a person’s happiness is their work environment. Fortunately, he really loves his coworkers. A steady job, regular hours, separation of work and home time, and having an enjoyable work environment make for a happy life. Of course, more money would help, but I think that is a common refrain from everyone. Ha.

We also talked about Bryan's family life. He is married to a great guy and has a good relationship. I think he said they have been married for seven years. Congratulations on that! Coming out to his family had some mixed reactions. I've heard so many perilous stories about that process. I really wish things were easier and people were more accepting. Maybe things are changing. I hope they are. I know it can be painful if friends and family are not accepting. I never really had to deal with that. I never came out to anyone. It wasn't something that I ever talked about with my family. I know it would not be accepted, so just never mentioned it. It was pretty easy for me though, because I easily pass as straight, and I do occasionally date women.

Can't leave without mentioning the cast on Bryan's arm. He and his husband have recently taken up roller skating (or actually re-taken up from when they were kids). Bryan got a little too adventurous at the skateboard park and took a fall and broke a wrist. He winced in pain a time or two during dinner, so I am thankful that he was still willing to go out for dinner tonight.

One last thing we talked about, well maybe not the last thing, I think we talked about a lot more, but I need to wrap this up before it gets even longer than it already is. Don't I always say that. Well, the last topic for tonight was favorite superpower. When Bryan started by saying that being able to heal someone was his favorite, I thought that we had another thing in common, because that would be my choice if I had a superpower. But he didn't stop at healing, he said he wanted to heal people psychologically. To be able to heal mental health issues for people who wanted it. That is something that I had never thought about, but I can see why that would be so important. Healing physical injuries would be great (especially when you have just broken your wrist in a roller skating accident), but being able to provide comfort for those suffering from mental health issues would be an amazing thing. I'd love to see that idea explored in a Superhero story sometime. Before we go, what is your favorite superpower?

Thank you, Bryan. Another great meal, and great conversation.